Love thy neighbor…Just don’t get caught

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Most everyone would like to believe when they get married that it will be forever. However, the reality in today’s world is that many marriages fail and result in divorce. Other married couples may fall out of love and grow to dislike one another more than they care to admit, but for a variety of reasons (kids, money, religious beliefs etc…), they remain husband and wife in theory primarily.

These types of marriages can inevitably lead one or both spouses to seek the comfort of another adult and eventually cheat on one another. Sites like Craigslist and Plentyoffish are full of “married but looking” people.  Even the owner of the Plentyoffish site states the following in his blog: “Of those 2000 users who use the forums less than 50% are actually single and even fewer are actively looking for someone.”  Is he not admitting that half of the users are married or otherwise in a committed relationship?

Another scenario that may lead a married person to be unfaithful is an unexpected meeting with someone who sweeps them off their feet.  They married the person that they thought best suited them on the whole, they maybe didn’t marry someone who was their dream girl because they never expected “her” to come along.  When she does, all hell can break loose. Despite their attempts to prevent this relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings to powerful to deny and thus give into their desires to be with this new person. The saying “Life is too short…” comes to mind as justification for this new love or lust.

The one thing that really gets overlooked in these cases is …reality.  The “new” person, the “other” person will almost ALWAYS seem better than the one at home, at face value.  We are designed as human beings to go through a state of euphoria in the beginning, the same heightened sense of attraction that went through with our spouse.  If you have the foresight to realize this when your “dream” comes along (after 7 years of marital bliss with the one you vowed to be faithful to) that “she” is really not that much different from your spouse, then a lot of costly, hurtful mistakes could be avoided. Still other married people may consciously choose to cheat on their spouses. If you fall into that category, you probably have the art of not getting caught mastered already.

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