My wife is a slut

To me there are two basic types of sex:

1. The warm physical intimacy that is shared between two people in love. AKA: Making love
2. No holds barred, crude, nasty, do whatever you can imagine sexual gratification. AKA: Fucking

The problem is that in most cases the two never happen at the same time, or at least with the same person. I heard a saying once that “Making love is what a woman thinks about when you are fucking her”. There seems to be a discrepancy between what the sexes can imagine as being palatable if given the chance to dig into their deepest desires.

The problem is, as I see it is that men objectify women if given the opportunity to. I love my wife, I treat her as such. We have a great relationship in that we both work towards common goals. We have a great sex life, we move in unison and we can orgasm at the same time. I have no complaints.
However if I took respecting her as a person out of the equation and just thought of her as AND had the ability to USE her as I saw fit, the rules would change. I believe that if a man has the ability to have sex with a woman in the way that he can IMAGINE it would in many most cases be distasteful to the woman.

I am not talking about physically harming a woman, I am just saying that if I could do whatever I wished, whatever I can comprehend as being REALLY sexually exciting to me it would more likely represent a porn film than a close relationship.

I don’t hold the thought of ever experiencing any of these scenarios in “real” life. They serve no purpose to me in my real life. In conversation with my wife I have brought up various scenarios and could tell by her response that my fantasy would be better off staying just that…fantasy.

I do from time to time draw on these “fantasies” while making love. In some ways I feel bad in that in my mind, I am objectifying her and her body more than she will know or needs to know. I am not pretending that she is someone else, rather a one-sided “role-playing” where I am pretending that she is acting in a different way than she would possibly ever comprehend. I am married, so NSA sex and hookers are not a viable option, I have to work with what I have. Sometimes she IS a hooker, other times my neighbor’s wife, while other times the team’s cheerleader but almost always she is a reincarnation of the stereotypical “slut” and now she is mine. Many different scenarios and yet almost always different from what appears as face value.

If I “make love” and try and get really worked up over the “closeness”, the “connection”, the “bond” I will most likely go to sleep. I need, at least in my head, for sex to be “dirty”. I need there to be some stigma attached to it in order for me to “get off” intellectually and emotionally.

I like to look into my wife’s eyes and see that sparkle. I love to see her smile. I love to hear her voice. She is a great partner and I am very happy that she is in my life. What she doesn’t see is how I look at her in a more visually graphic way, how I fantasize about her, how I objectify her body.
I care about her needs. I always do my best to ensure she is happy and satisfied. She does the same for me…she just doesn’t know how much.