“You wouldn’t ______ if you loved me”


“You wouldn’t ______ if you loved me”

I have heard these words uttered many times, typically by a woman and almost always in regards to cheating.  The last time I heard it was during a discussion about cheating and the woman stated, “A man will not cheat on his wife if he loves her.”

I responded that this would not always be necessarily true.  I do believe that you could love someone and still cheat on them.  I believe there is a difference in opinion due to the way that men and women look at love…and cheating. I do believe that a man will make short-sighted choices without considering the damaging consequences, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t love their wives.

From what I have seen when it comes to sex outside of marriage, women are typically looking for an affair that gives them an emotional high…and men are typically looking for sex…with sex being a physical release of sexual tension.  Said tension could be released through masturbation, sex with one’s girlfriend or wife, or sex with anyone with an orifice.  It can be that cut and dry for a man.

I say that it’s possible for men to have an affair with a woman and that has little to do with the love he has for his wife. I believe that you can love someone and also cheat on them but it doesn’t make it right as it is a definite lack of respect and a violation of trust. That violation of trust can mean the end of the relationship for the couple but it does not automatically mean that the man did not/does not love his wife. It can be argued that trust and respect are a big part of love but women tend to use love as a catch-all word. Let’s try,“If you respected me…you wouldn’t cheat on me”

My ex told me once that if I “really loved her” I wouldn’t feel the need to watch porn.  I responded that if she “really loved me”, she would have sex with me often enough that I would lack the desire to watch porn.

I can see where these words; “You wouldn’t ______ if you loved me”, would appeal to women but to me they are just another cliché.

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