Ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?

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bulldogOne day, a father and son are having a frank discussion about sex.  His son starts to ask questions about female anatomy and the father is eager to help his son with any questions he may have.

“Dad, what does a vagina look like?” asked the son.

“Well son,” answered the father. “A vagina is the most beautiful thing in creation.”

“The soft folds of a vagina are softer even than the petals of a rose.”

“The delicate scent of a vagina is finer than the finest French perfumes.”

“The taste of a vagina, is sweeter than the purest nectar.”

“All in all son, it’s like I said,a vagina is the most beautiful thing in creation.”

“Gee dad, a vagina sounds just great, the way you describe it.”

A few moments of silence go by, then the boy asks another question.

“Dad, What does a vagina look like after sex?”

“Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?”

I recently read a  post  from a woman with some concern about the visual appearance and scent of her vagina and it made me think of the aforementioned joke.
See her post here: http://hoodwinkedbylife.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/dear-vagina-part-1-in-a-series/

Her blog entry got me to thinking about the physical appearance of a vagina, and I was trying to focus enough to see if I as well really thought that vaginas were unattractive.  The problem is if I see a vagina, in person, in a picture or even in my head, there is an emotional (sexual) response attached to it.  I cannot see a vagina as just a part of the female body, nor as some excess flaps of flesh. 

When I see a vagina I get excited, I look past just the physical appearance and am enthralled by it.  I really cannot explain why this happens.  I can look at a person’s nose and see it as a nose.  If they asked me an opinion about shape or size I could and would respond honestly. When it comes to a vagina it as if my common senses are overwhelmed, impaired by some sort of chemical intoxication that is produced by and self-administered by my brain.

If a woman were to show me her vagina and ask me about the physical appearance of it, especially if she were to suggest something was odd or different about hers…I simply would not see it.  Her vagina would be beautiful to me.

This reminds me of another scenario that I have seen many times.  Men looking at the Sunshine Girl (for those of you not in Toronto, the Sunshine girl is a pin-up girl found daily in one of the local papers)  Guys will typically look at, and then rate, the girl.  Imagine this scene: a number of guys from a factory, in their mid-fifties with waists in their mid-forties offering their opinion on a (typically) sexy young woman in the paper.  Comments like, “Na…I wouldn’t bother”…or “whew…she’s a bit of a pooch isn’t she?”

That’s men at their worse…guys that would score a solid 3 on the 1-10 scale making sour grapes comments about a woman that could well be their daughter and at minimum would rate a 7-8 in a beauty contest.

My point is that for the benefit of the other males around him, men will often make ridiculous statements.  I could assume the same could happen if a random woman were to ask a stranger’s opinion of what he likes or dislikes about a vagina.  I’m sure he would be able to offer all sorts of praise or condemnation.

Unless he saw it…at which time he would most likely be speechless…“What’s wrong? Pussy got your tongue?

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