You walked in and took a seat, dressed like you were going to an interview. We made a little small talk before banging away at the task at hand. I know you were a little nervous, but it’s ok. You’re young and I could tell you haven’t done this more than a few times before. Since I’m obviously more experienced at this, I tried my best to put you at ease. Once the idle conversation tailed off, I decided to ask the more serious questions. I liked most of your responses, even if some of them came across a little rehearsed. I thought you were attractive – not that it really mattered. In the back of my mind I’m thinking, “you’re just what I’m looking for”.
As the questions became more difficult, I could see you getting more nervous. Then the “clicking” started. What the heck was it? Maybe, just a little nervous reaction? I could see you moving your tongue around and then it popped out. A stupid fucking barbell going straight through your tongue and you were flicking it around in your mouth!
What I didn’t ask you:
So when exactly did you find the need to express yourself by drilling a hole in your tongue and pushing a steel pin through it.
Was this piece of mouth jewelry a secret signal to guys that you’re easy?
Did you receive so many complaints while giving head that you found it necessary to install apparatus in your mouth?
Do you lack self-respect?
I came to my own conclusion. You like to suck cock.
Yes, this was an interview, and there’s no way I’m paying someone $40,000 a year who is going to walk around the office wearing a giant sign in her mouth that says – I LIKE TO SUCK COCK.
The letter you receive next week will be worded a bit more vaguely than this one.