I read another article yesterday regarding women’s constant testing of men. The general gist was that women constantly “test” men to assure themselves of the man’s worthiness. In this article there are 3 men and the author goes on the explain how each of the men handle the women’s tests and subsequently how they pass or fail. I found this very interesting because I see myself as a progression within the 3.
When I was younger when my partner acted moody, I saw this as sign that I should try to fill an emotional need in her. Ultimately I filled that need but in the long run became her emotional punching bag. She saw this as a sign of weakness in me and ultimately lost interest, lost faith in me.
Over time I built up resentment for women that would use moodiness as a ploy to test me. If they acted moody too much I would just walk away. My attitude was that if they didn’t want to be with me, and act reasonable while doing so…so be it! I wasn’t about to try and figure out what they really wanted, and not interested in dealing with their illogical behaviour. I started to see this as a common female trait, a power play of status and control. I simply walked away.
Today I strive to be more empathetic when my partner is moody. I don’t react to her mood swings, to her testing. I stay neutral and stay true to myself. This route seems to work best.
One thing that the author of the article did not touch on was how unnecessary most men feel that the whole female testing process is…and how damaging.
I personally find this testing to be unacceptable on an ongoing basis (and is is ongoing) and my reaction is a deliberate one…not what I really feel. Honestly my gut reaction to her testing is to tell her to go and fuck herself. It is childish and represents some internal emotional issue within her and being called to play a game that I have zero interest in is irritating at best. If she is going to keep trying me, then I’m going to believe that she doesn’t trust me, especially if I’ve never given her a reason not to.
I feel that in the long run that this “testing of trust” will ultimately fail her because it affects my emotional trust in her.