Hurry up & slow down

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Women are inconsistent with their demands

My wife and I left late from the house today because she wanted to ensure that her son was set-up in the living room to watch TV until his older brother got up. We left maybe 5 minutes later than usual. We drive around 35 minutes to work and typically would arrive there 10 minutes before start time.

She reminds me as soon as we get into the car that we are running late ( I know!). I am driving the speed limit in the first in-town portion of our trip and she asks me to speed up to match the other car (one) that is doing 30 km/hr over. (No problem!)

We get to the train tracks and the signal lights come on as we are one car length from the tracks. I floor it, knowing full well that this particular set of signals takes 15 seconds before the gates come down. She freaks! Tells me what a bad driver I am and how I am trying to get us killed and all of that nonsense. BTW waiting for the process of the gates, train etc. would have added another 5 minutes to the trip.

The bulk of the balance of the trip was uneventful. I proceeded to exceed the speed limit by 20 km/hr. We got to the point where I have to turn left down the street where the factory resides. There was one car in front of me that started to make his turn. I noted that the oncoming traffic was far enough back that if I tailgated his turn we would make it in plenty of time. Doesn’t the guy hit his brakes half way through the turn! I veer right to go around him and there is a Canada Goose right in my path. I veer further right and miss the goose…but not far enough to miss the barrage of insults about my driving.

The next stretch is 50 km/hr and I am doing 60. She once more reminds me that we are late and I should go faster. I refuse. When we get to the corner she suddenly remembers that she has to pickup the office lottery pool tickets. We stop at the gas station to do so and she stands in a line of five people. She exits the store with one minute to spare until work.

We made it on time (just) but my reason for writing this was to show the irritation that a woman causes me when she wants me to hurry up…and slow down…all at the same time.

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