I was at Popeye’s chicken with my wife after work and there were two guys standing in line in front of her. Both of them were wearing jeans with the waistband level with the bottom of their buttocks. I could imagine that the only thing that would hold their pants up in any way would be their dick. As if to make this fashion statement (which I consider ridiculous) even more perverse it appeared that their jeans had been modified so that the crotch of their jeans was just above their knees.
When the guys had paid for their meals and headed to a table in the restaurant I almost laughed out loud! Because there is virtually no friction to hold up pants worn in this fashion, it is impossible to walk properly. Rather than striding these guys actually had to do a over-exaggerated twisting motion with their hips AND could only shuffle their feet in the process due to the crotch position. What came to mind was they for some reason had inserted a large cucumber in their ass and the motions they were going through were to prevent such a large object from penetrating the side of their bowels. (yes, for the record, this is the type of thing that come to mind to me).
I know that I am getting old when I look at some of today’s fashion statements and don’t care for them AT ALL. My two favourite things to hate are excessive piercings and tattoos and pants worn such as I have described.
I mentioned this to a co-worker the next day and stated that I could not understand why someone would go through the extra aggravation and inability to walk properly in order to make a statement. He explained to me that I was just getting older and like many older people, intolerant of what young people do as far as fashion statements. He went on to say that I most likely did things or wore things that looked “stupid” to my parents. He was partially right. I used to wear a black leather bomber jacket. Not in itself that unusual but I wore it year round. Wearing a black leather jacket in July when the temperature is 96 degrees is stupid from a practical sense, I agree.
That being said I will be going Christmas shopping this weekend and will be wearing my leather jacket in the mall (less bulky that my winter coat), and people won’t even notice me. The jacket that once made me so “cool” doesn’t have that effect any longer. On the flip side though, twenty years from now when one of those guys from Popeye’s decides to “go retro” and don his sexy “knee-crotch pants” when he goes to the mall, people will still look at him, not for his fashion sense rather they will most likely wonder…”Why does this guy have a cucumber up his ass?”