By Yesterday I wrote a post regarding the possibility of having another or others joining us in the bedroom. When I was writing that post I was thinking about the positives regarding threesomes or more-somes. Today I was thinking about the downside of “watering down” the intimacy that my wife and I share.
The biggest fears I harbor when it comes to my wife having sex with another man, and I am sure it would be the same with her in retrospect, is (possible) anxiety and (possible) jealousy.
I feel that a significant other will want to be the best possible lover…that they can be. Positions, rhythm, technique…are aspects that CAN be adjusted (within reason) to suit a partner.
What happens when a lover possesses some positive attribute(s) that the significant other cannot compete with? My biggest fear would be that she might find a lover to be so much better than me in ways that I would not be able to compensate for. Two things that come to mind would be physical characteristics and physical ability…in other words, penis size and endurance.
Much in the some women are concerned with the visual appearance, scent and elasticity of their vagina, I have dealt with some concern regarding penis size.
When I was younger I spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about my “shortcomings”. I don’t think that my exposure to my father’s “Letters to Penthouse” helped in any way either. Every letter in there started off with….
“Dear Penthouse, I am 20 years old and have an 11” penis…when limp…” You could switch 11” with 10”,12” or 13”, but I NEVER saw a guy with a 6” penis writing a letter to Penthouse.
The truth was, when it came my time to have a sex life…I never heard any complaints, any giggles, any comments at all regarding my personal endowment…until one day.
I had a new girlfriend and we had started having sex. A couple of weeks went by and she got a phone call, while I was there. I didn’t really listen to her conversation but she did seem happy to be talking with the person on the opposite end. When she hung up she explained that she was talking to an ex-boyfriend. She went on to say that if he ever came to town, “please don’t take offense”, but she would have to meet him to have sex with him. “He was the best lover I have ever had”…“ He had a huge cock that just felt soooo wonderful inside me…I’m sure he was at least 10” long”
Me…”um, ah, well, but, er, um, huh…..WTF!!!!
What the hell was that?
That REALLY made me wonder and set off a renewed round of anxiety. It was not so much that this past boyfriend was better endowed, rather that she felt the need to tell me, and there was nothing I could possibly do to improve my odds. There is a certain amount of competition, although typically unsaid, that goes along with sex. I want to be the best lover I can be….no actually I want to be the BEST lover period. If I am not, I want to improve. If the route to being the best lover requires the impossible…I don’t want to hear it. That is the truth. I don’t want to hear it. I want you to lie to me…or even better don’t say a word. If you want me to move this way…or that way…lick you here…or there….no problem…but if wish that I had a bigger dick…keep that one to yourself!
I want to live the rest of my life thinking that my penis is “just the right size” and that my use of said penis is fulfilling.
So asking another man to have sex with my wife could be asking for “big” trouble. I would certainly enjoy the visual, and the greater his endowment, the better…but if she found the overall experience to be more physically enjoyable….I would have to take (at least) second place from then on…and not so sure that is a position that I would be comfortable with.
theromanticmisogynist.com 
Mr. Wanton here,
If you had access to a time machine I suggest you travel back in time and take that trifling slut over your knee, and spank her until your hand stung. Let me translate the foulness that came out of her mouth for you:
“You paying for dates, and my cell phone, and buying gifts and the like is adequate tribute for me to endure putting your little pee-pee inside me here and there, but you mean so little that the first chance to get to hop on a real kielbasa I’m all over it! In fact once we are done I will call you up to tell you how great it is!”
And this: “Today I was thinking about the downside of “watering down” the intimacy that my wife and I share.” – Water it down? How about it bash it too pieces with a massive penis shaped hammer? What aspect of your relationship, love, or bond will be strengthened by Sergei’s veiny cock plunging into your wife’s gasping mouth?
Thank you, I am quite aware of the foulness that came out of her mouth. I was not with her for long before that and was not with her at all after that. It bothered me a lot at the time but today I just look at it as being an experience in life.
As far as my current wife and my hypothetical situation…it is about sex…only sex…voyeurism to be specific. What would it do to strengthen any non-sexual aspect of our relationship?…nothing.
Chances are that we would never venture to that place…but that does not mean that I haven’t thought of it…
Well if it makes you feel any better, I don’t believe penis size necessarily correlates to how great of a lover a man is. I’ve been with some very well endowed guys and had better sex with some that were less so. It really isn’t the be all end all of sex or pleasure for a woman. Sure it can be visually exciting to think of a lover as having a huge dick. It can be a turn on but it doesn’t mean we can’t be just as turned on by a guy who is average in the size department. I’ve always been a bit puzzled as to why men think its such a huge (pun intended, ha) deal. That might sound funny coming from a woman who, of late, has chosen several well endowed lovers, but most of my life I didn’t even pay any attention. In all honesty the more I like a guy the bigger he seems to be in my imagination. If you don’t tell a girl your dick is 6 inches she may very well believe its 7, just because she hasn’t measured and we suck at that spatial reasoning anyway, lol. I’ve been with guys that I thought were huge and another girl who slept with the same guy said he was small. WTF? Different perceptions based on our sexual chemistry with the guy in question.
Really bad experience you had. Sometimes we don’t need that much honesty. I’ve been told that sometimes it’s nice for the woman to feel completely filled. That doesn’t mean that a big penis is the only thing that matters or the most important thing. I believe that we all have the potential of being great lovers we need to focus on what we can do and not focus on the areas where we might have some limitations. If you want to open your relationship to other partners then you much be able to face the fact that we are equipped differently in many ways and you must be able to accept that and still feel adequate. Otherwise it will be a bad experience. Good luck
I once had a 12 inch farm animal…he sucked in bed. That woman did not deserve you. Swing ONLY if you think you will enjoy it and you think your wife will. Every person provides something different, but if love is there you are not replaceable.