Bite your tongue!
Yesterday my wife made a decision to start an argument with me. I say made a decision as there was no reason for it. For some reason she either wanted an argument or wanted to see what my response would be. I have asked her 16-year-old son, who lives with us, to please shovel off the walkway when necessary, when he comes home from school. Rather than do this (a maximum 2 minute job) he walks through the snow and tracks it into the house. When I get home I have to shovel, walk inside, step in the puddle that his boots have left and “be quiet as he is sleeping.”
Last night I took an exception to the fact that once more the same pattern had been followed. Her son has only two things to do around the house, take out the recycling and shovel the walkway. Quite honestly it pisses me off when he can’t seem to find two minutes out of his time to do something he has been asked to and then expects us to jump when he wants a ride somewhere.
At 7 o-clock he went out. At 10:30 he called to say that he was downtown (about 3km away) and he wanted to be picked up. I said no. He walked there in the first place AND made no attempt to find out if he could get his way back at that time. In my opinion he ASSUMED that her or I would run down and pick him up. This happens ALL of the time.
He shows up 15 minutes later (he took a cab) and his mom asks why. He tells her that he called and I wouldn’t pick him up. Oh boy! Here we go. She does everything in her power to get me going. I simply explained my rationale and shut my mouth. I blocked out all of the “Why are you so mean, he could have caught a cold, why do you make him shovel the driveway, poor baby he’s tired” . In other words I blocked out all of the bullshit. This is the point where I tend to think that women are not logical in their thought process. I am not sure if I am mad at her for not “seeing” what is really going on here…that being that her son is taking advantage of the situation (s) OR I am mad at him because I am well aware of his process of trickery and I can’t stand that he is so blatant about it.
To the point…I now have to make my own decision. She “decided” to start a fight…I have to “decide” how to rebuke her position. Do I fight , keep my mouth shut and even go so far as to make concessions or back track if necessary? In this particular case keeping my mouth shut did the trick. Even though I wanted to lash out at her for even arguing this situation I knew it was better to keep quiet.
Sex. That is what it comes down to. I have no problem in having an argument and having sex right afterwards. She might have been off base but all is forgiven, forgotten even once we are doing it. Hell, I wouldn’t even mind doing WHILE fighting…seems kind of kinky to me. All joking aside I know that if I retaliate in any given argument I am going to lose out on the opportunity for sex that night. I might anyways depending on her “apre-fight” mood, but if I push for my side of the story…it goes from a slim possibility to none. If I push my luck and keep bringing something up on a daily basis until I get MY point across…I might as well subscribe to the porn channels for a while, because I will be the only one pleasuring me.
It bothers me that women wield this power over me, yet they do. The only trick up my sleeve is to never let them know I care and then they “think” that we are on an equal footing.