Does this dress make me look fat?

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slimDoes this dress make me look fat?
The correct answer is NOT “Fatter than what?”
The best answer, if she is already in the dress, is “Hey, gorgeous, give me a kiss.” This is a diversion tactic on your part but if you respond in that way in under 0.5 seconds after she asked…she will buy it (your response AND the dress).

If she is thinking of buying the dress and actually requesting an opinion instead of looking for reassurance, be honest. That DOES NOT mean saying “Are you three months pregnant or just going heavy on the gravy?” however. Be NICE.

The problem that I have had with this scenario is that “she” always says she wants an honest opinion and yet gets upset when she is given one.  On the other hand, “his” little white lie can keep the smile on her face, so what does it hurt? If women in general would accept an honest answer to a question, then I am sure that most men would be more forthcoming in their replies.

In most cases I would have to say that I don’t care, unless I think that the dress looks completely awful on her.  More often it is the dress more than how it looks.  I don’t care how she looks…I can’t get past the fact that the fabric looks similar to the seat upholstery in my ’72 Gremlin.

What I have found when giving a truthful answer is she will:

A) Argue the fact.
I say “It doesn’t suit you.”
She replies, “Why?”
I say, “It makes you look bigger than you actually are”
She says, “I don’t see that!” “Do you really think that I’m fat?”
I say, “Yes”
She says, “I am getting a headache”
I say, nothing…but I know I won’t be saying “oh baby” tonight either

The problem with the women that argue the “facts” all of the time are also the ones that are adamant that I give an HONEST answer.  The first time they may get me, after that…I’m not stupid…I just tell them what thay want to hear.

B) Accept what I say because she trusts my judgement.
This is new to me but my new wife actually respects my opinion when it comes to fashion and her fashion ability.

One more point is that a woman’s husband will be the most critical of her “shape”.  When I started dating my wife, she had the body of a Goddess, or so I was blinded into seeing.  A few years later and she looks a bit frumpier than I remember, yet she hasn’t gained any weight.  Why is this? I am more perceptive.

Larry, our neighbour, sees my wife in the same light that I did when I first met her.  He certainly doesn’t look at her and think “That dress makes her look fat”…in his mind he has already discarded the dress, has her buck naked and they are doing the horizontal mambo. That’s the way that other guys think.

So the next time you want to hear an honest opinion about how a dress makes you look, go and ask someone else’s husband.  He will lie to you with a straight face AND if you stand in front of him long enough…he might even smile.

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