Apparently it’s good for you!


I was reading a blog today and the post was her “Sexual Bucket List”.  She went on to describe all of the things that she wanted to accomplish in the “sex department” before her demise.  Some of the things on her list were surprisingly vanilla, I remember thinking, “You haven’t tried THAT before???” Others were a bit more extreme, I thought, “I don’t know if I would try THAT!”

Read her sexual bucket list here: http://sharingourconnection.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/sexual-bucket-list/

It got me to thinking about my own bucket list.  Quite honestly most of what would be on my list would be fantasy, not something I would really want to do in reality…all except for one thing.

Now this one thing would be considered by most to be vanilla AND will probably not show up on many guys’ bucket lists.  The reason being is that at some point in their life, between the ages of 13 to 17 they have probably experienced this.  Still others may still experience this from time to time in their adult life.  Lucky bastards!

The one thing that stands out on my list…top of the list and with flashing neon lights…I want to have an orgasm in a woman’s mouth.  Right now I know a lot of women are going…”ew yuck” ….and a lot of guys are going “that’s it?”  That is the top thing on this guy’s sexual bucket list?  Well…yes.

In all of my years I have never had to experience of “finishing” inside her mouth.  This is not about a male dominance thing, I don’t care if she swallows, spits, whatever…quite honestly she could spit it in my face for all care….I just have a desire (read: obsession) to experience this.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been the recipient of oral sex many times in my life and some women have taken the extra time and effort to bring me to that point…oh yesss!..just to throw a towel, wad of Kleenex, a mitten, hat at me so that I could “contain my enthusiasm”.  One woman decided that the trip to the Christmas Party was a great time to exhibit her oral talents but had no forethought as to what might happen in the end.  I think I got caught up the fantasy that I would enjoy a highly pleasurable and no mess finish…but I was wrong.  Just at the point of no return she pulled way and let it snow all over the place, the dash, my pants, and my suit jacket….yes before the party. Grrrrr.

From everything I have read, the taste of ejaculate is not the most pleasant.  Furthermore it seems that many of the women that have got to taste it, had no choice, for their head was firmly impaled on his penis with his hand on the back of her head.  I was always the nice guy when it came to sex…if it was unappealing to her then I didn’t want to force the issue.  I just kept hoping that one day I would meet a woman who had an insatiable, yet inexplicable desire to enjoy ejaculate. Never happened.

I’m really concerned now because I feel that my new wife is the “one” or at least the last one that I will be with.  Finally, a great relationship, a great sex life…but no fantasy finish!  She even went so far one day to tell me outright after witnessing this nastiness on a porn film…”Don’t ever do that!”

So here I am wondering how I can possibly ever scratch my number one desire off my list…

  1. Trade off my 5 seconds of heaven for a month of the cold shoulder.  I could just hold her head there so she doesn’t have a choice…just like Bill, Frank and George did with their girlfriends when they were 17…but I fear she might bite it off.
  2. I could pay her for it.  I have found a few ads on Craigslist for a BBBJTC CIM in your car for $80.  If we were in a nice warm bed and I gave her $100, I think that fair…don’t you?
  3. I could protest.  I think a month without me licking and prodding her to orgasm might do it…or better yet hand her a cold towel at the precise moment and see how she likes it.
  4. I could forget about it.  Probably best.  I figure I only have a few years left before I will need Viagra and my testosterone level wanes.  By that time I will have lost interest and my number one priority on my list will be to “cuddle and hold hands”

4 thoughts on “Apparently it’s good for you!

  1. Thanks for the mention. I know that some of my stuff probably is vanilla to some, just like yours would seem. I love how varied people are with their sexual desires.

    As for your #1, it’s sad that no one has been willing to do that for you. Personally, I love it! There is just something so incredibly sexy about a man’s ejaculate. IThere is very little hotter to me.

    I just had a weekend with K, and I crossed quite a few things off of my list. I didn’t put that on there because it is a given. I know he came in my mouth at least 3 or 4 times from Sunday to last night (4 days). We mixed it up quite a bit – stomach, pussy, mouth, face (eye accidentally – ooopps)… It adds variety and spice and fun.

    As for the 4 options you offered at the end… I think #3 is your best bet. Turnaround is fair play, and she might not really understand. #1 is tricky even if she doesn’t bite it off. I’m unclear about #2. Are you talking about finding a random woman off of the internet? If so, that is a dumb move (want to risk your health and relationship and possibly life for this?). If you mean literally paying your wife, that could be perceived as condescending and treating her like a cheap whore – usually not a good idea. #4 is ridiculous – 48 is quite young, and sex will be important for a very long time.

    My alternative option – have a real, honest conversation with her about it. She may have said “no way” in passing after some porno, but I doubt she knew that is your top fantasy, and one she could so easily fulfil. For a lot of women (the ones I know, at least), the biggest turn on is knowing that you are turning on, satisfying, and blowing your man’s mind. If you approach this right, it could work out well for you. I suggest that you let her know how much of a fantasy that is, how she would top anything sexually that you have ever experienced, and how you want it to be with her because she is so special and means so much to you.

  2. Hello again,
    Thanks for your insight into my delicate situation. First off I hope you didn’t take any offense about my “vanilla” comment…was only “artistic impression”. The truth is that the bulk of your list is intriguing to say the least.
    I have to admit that I wrote this post “tongue in cheek” with my 4 possible solutions being “fantastic” as opposed to realistic. I just wanted you to know that I did in fact follow your option and had an honest conversation about it. She still didn’t seem to be too impressed with the idea but didn’t give a definitive “no”. I think that her being turned on, knowing what it means to me will overcome her negative views.
    Assuming even that I had a “green light” brings up another issue…whether or not I can actually orgasm (within a reasonable amount of time) from oral sex. I have…but it takes time…a lot of time.
    Oddly enough, even though I find the physical sensation of fellatio to be “out of this world” and the thought of finishing in her mouth increases the tension…I find it far more difficult to orgasm this way. I think it is purely psychological and could be connected to past (and present) partner’s negative response to the idea???

    1. Oh, no, I didn’t take offense at all. I totally get the “vanilla” comment. I also figured your 4 proposed solutions weren’t entirely serious.

      I’m glad you didn’t get a flat-out rejection from your wife. I have a feeling that with a great orgasm from your “licking and prodding” she might be willing to fulfil that fantasy, even if it’s only once.

      As for the other issue… I have often wondered about that. I have only been with 2 men, but they have had a similar “issue.” Every man seems to say how wonderful a blowjob feels, yet with all of my skills and practice and enthusiasm for the “task,” it still takes a while.

      Of course, these are only my (very limited) experiences, but I don’t think your predicament is all that unusual. My soon-to-be ex-husband only came maybe 3 or 4 times from oral sex. Total. In almost 5 years. It wasn’t from a lack of trying or desire on my part. It just rarely happened.

      With K it is not such an impossible task, but it does take a while unless I do something to make it more “exciting.” For instance, the first time after we’ve been apart for a month he can cum fairly “fast” from oral sex. I put fast in quotes because fast for him is like 30 minutes. After we have had sex or he has already had one orgasm for the night, it takes much longer and usually oral alone won’t do it. We can finish that way, but it’s easier for him to cum when he’s fucking me. I’m not sure why.

  3. Well, as you might have guessed I have invested a lot of time researching the reasons for this phenomenon. Keep in mind these opinions are my own and do not necessarily reflect what other men may feel/think.

    I should state (again) that I personally find the physical sensation of a blow-job (if done with a reasonable level of skill) to be far more intense than sexual intercourse.
    The main reasons for me are:
    1. The suction that CAN be formed by sucking creates a sensation of tightness that cannot be duplicated by a vagina. The vagina can feel tight at the entrance but sucking during a blow job creates tightness along the entire length of the penis. The tightness is as well similar to a vacuum whereas vaginal tightness is “just” tight.
    2. The tongue. If a vagina had a tongue inside I believe I might only last through a minute of intercourse. The sensation of the tongue flicking just under the glans is incredible and at the point of orgasm is (to me) the most pleasurable feeling I have ever experienced. On a physical level and a scale of one to ten, oral sex would be ten and vaginal sex would be a six.

    So why is it so hard to orgasm from oral sex?
    The reasons from what I have read, has a lot to do with control…or in this case, the man’s lack of control over what is happening. Men want to have the control over their physical sensations during sex…that is that they want to be the one’s doing the fucking. When a man gets a blowjob he isn’t doing anything…she is doing the work, she is fucking (sucking) him. This really didn’t make a lot of sense to me, that is, until I tried something that changed my mind. Prior to this I never moved when getting a blowjob, primarily because I didn’t want to choke her. When I moved slightly, in a motion that simulated intercourse, i.e. I was fucking her mouth, the build to orgasm was far more rapid. In more recent times because my wife has no gag reflex, I can literally fuck her mouth with the same force as I would fuck her vaginally AND orgasm can come very quickly.
    The second reason I find is that blowjobs don’t psychologically excite me. Sexual intercourse does. Intercourse is for me 25% physical and 75% psychological. The “thought” of what is happening during intercourse is what builds my orgasm…not the physical sensation. With a blowjob the reverse is true only with me it is 90% physical and 10% psychological.

    I don’t get excited watching a woman giving a blowjob on a porn movie, while watching intercourse excites me…a lot. When receiving oral sex I don’t think about the person performing the oral sex… I think about some fantasy sex situation that involves intercourse. IF I get a blowjob while watching a porn film, the sensations are enhanced but my greatest stimulation is provided by the visual of the movie and my thought process. The blowjob itself is replacing the masturbation that I might typically be doing while watching that movie….just that the blowjob is 100 times more pleasurable than my hand.

    The last two things that come to mind are:

    Time
    I can only remember one time where a woman actually set out to give me a blow job AND have said bj be the main event. Oral sex has almost exclusively been part of foreplay or a precursor to intercourse. I feel because of that, not much (enough) time has been spent on fellatio. If I WAS given a time limit I would most likely not be able to orgasm…I think that women could appreciate this…it falls under not being able to orgasm because you are trying too hard to orgasm.

    Negative Thoughts
    I have convinced myself (on a deeper level) that women don’t like to give head. I have heard too many sighs, too much negative talk, been rejected too often and told so many times DON”T CUM IN MY MOUTH that it has had some negative impact on my overall view of fellatio. I cannot become sexually aroused in any situation where my partner is not aroused. That is to say If I FEEL that she is not in any way engaged in the act…I will actually become turned off…exactly the opposite of the hoped for effect.

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