Is CNUT a bad word?


I was thinking last night about how my past relationships have negatively affected my sexual openness.

When my wife and I were in Chicago, we stayed at the Crowne Plaza downtown for two nights.  On the second night the couple in the next room came in around 3 in the morning.  Based on the volume of their conversation, they had been drinking.  Guess what they did next?

For the next hour (isn’t drunken sex great?) they proceeded to do “it”.  There was no squeaky bed or headboard banging against the wall; what there was…an exaggerated moan from her every 2 seconds.

Ms. Sharing ( you weren’t in Chicago that evening by any chance?

It got me thinking about how my sexual creativity has been met in the past, how it affected me then and how it still does today.  I am writing this because I wonder how many others out there have had similar experiences and have reacted (even to this day) in a similar way.

Yesterday I was reading a post regarding a woman’s rape fantasy….contrasted against my sex life with my first wife.  The reality of said sex life was that anything that wasn’t purely vanilla was considered to be perverted and unacceptable to her.  I think that most people when experimenting with sex like to try or attempt to try “new” things.  With my ex…everything that was outside of plain missionary position sex was met with an immediate and over-the-top rebuttal.

Talking dirty = disgusting
Sex outside the bedroom = disgusting
Doggystyle = disgusting
Anal sex = disgusting
Handcuffs = disgusting
Sex toys = disgusting
Porn = disgusting

Everything that I can remember suggesting or even eluding to was “disgusting” and I was called a pervert.  The truth is that some of what I had imagined would be disgusting to some of the readers of this post as well…I can accept that…but her determination to resist anything out of HER norm was disturbing.

I had not had a lot of sexual experience before living with my first wife so I started to believe that this was in fact the way that women acted…and in fact I WAS perverted and might be better hiding my thoughts from her.  The truth is I had no way to know…there was little conversation between men about their sex lives and there were no blogs to peruse.

In future relationships I had been “trained” so to speak to not bring up anything that I had been chastised for before.  Some of my girlfriends actually asked me to stop being a gentleman in the bedroom…I was THAT vanilla.  What happened was I was always looking for a green-light to proceed with anything “non-vanilla” which certainly flies in the face of a “take-charge” male.  Over time I tried to be more direct and just went with what I was thinking and still I was rejected in some cases.

I actually had one woman get mad at me…REALLY mad… because I said she was a “Naughty Girl”.  Can you imagine if I told her how her hot, wet XXXX felt?  A guy just never knows the limits…

My point in this is it is often stated that women like a man to take charge in the bedroom, they want someone that is creative and they want sex to be fun.  Constant overly negative rejection of his ideas can lead to the opposite of what you ultimately desire.

What it comes down to is communication.  I had read this a million times in regards to relationships AND sex but it really meant nothing to me until my present relationship.  My current wife is the only woman I have been involved with that “gets it”.  My “suggestions” have never been met with outright negativity and in many cases she has taken what I started and expanded upon it.

3 comments on “Is CNUT a bad word?”

  1. Hahaha!!! Nope, not Chicago but it certainly does sound a bit like us. I’m loud, and he lasts! 😉

    That’s horrible the way those women would respond to you. I didn’t have quite those strong of reactions from past partners, but I do understand how your personal sexual history can shape your future sexual confidence, either positively or negatively. In fact, I wrote a little about that recently.

    I’m glad you have found someone who makes you feel comfortable and open sexually. It’s so much more fantastic that way. Sex can really be so fun.

    On a separate note, related to your post title, j have never been a huge fan of the word cunt. Pussy doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not really sure why. I would never, ever get angry at someone for saying it, though. In fact, I’d love someone to change mind by giving me positive memories of that word.

  2. I cannot state why I like naughty or “bad” words but I do. It is purely psychological. Typically the greater the stigma attached to the word…the more I like it.
    One of the unfortunate drawbacks of the English language is so many words have different meanings. Cunt is one of those words with more than one meaning, and I think that most would agree that depending on how it is used…goes from bad…to worse.

    I have met only one woman from Canada that actually liked the “C” word and used it from time to time…at precisely that right time. Oddly enough the stigma attached to the word only seems to have a negative effect in North America when the person that hears it fully understands English. My last two lovers were not originally educated in English and neither had heard the word before…therefore it had a neutral effect for them…so I could use it as I saw fit! Deliciously nasty!

    In some countries, like Australia, it is used freely as a trem of endearment, Hey Buddy is replaced with, Hey you XXXX. It has no negative stigma at all.

    I was just writing a post about how continued exposure to images (and words) can make said images seem standard, normal, mainstream…vanilla. This most likely explains why the word pussy makes me yawn….only a bit…honest!

  3. Yeah, sure, women want a man who can take charge in the bedroom… as long as you’re doing what she wants you to do.

    Ah, the C-word! One afternoon, I was banging poly wife #1 and knowing she liked me talking dirty to her as I did it, I told her in no uncertain terms that she was a hot-assed cunt… then that part of me that says you never say that to a woman got bent out of shape and I waited for her to say, “What did you call me?” and then no more sex ’cause now I gotta explain myself. But, no; she actually said, “Yeah, baby, I’m a very hot-ass cunt and you need to fuck my cunt harder, faster, and deeper!”

    What I know is that if I called her a cunt and we weren’t screwing, my ass would have been grass – go figure. I guess there are, ah, special times and moments where using the C-word works…

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