My wife and I were watching the Mentalist last night. She made the comment (as she always does) about him being her fantasy crush…her pretend boyfriend as she puts it. A few moments later there was an ad for “Castle”, the show that was to immediately follow. I then made a comment about Stana Katic, the actor from Castle on how she could be MY pretend girlfriend.
This brought about a question from my wife: “What exactly do you see in any given woman that you notice and find attractive. That is to say what aspects of a woman catch your eye?”
Hmmmm. I could analyze this question to death and come up with all sorts of different angles but what first comes to mind is most likely closest to the truth.
Her hip to waist ratio
Realistically these are the attributes I notice…and to a certain extent how I come to judge a woman’s overall appeal to me.
I remember discussing sexual attraction with my wife a number of years ago. She said that when she looks at a man she makes a determination in her head if he is handsome or not, but doesn’t make any further thought regarding sex. I told her that when I look at a woman, any woman, there is a split second question asked and answered in my head. The question is: Would I or wouldn’t I…have sex with her. Yes or no. There is no further thought, there are no parameters involved as to whether or not I would have such opportunity, whether or not she would even give me the time of day…just the quick question.
Keep in mind I am not talking about a relationship with a woman here…when it comes to that…personality is at the top of my list. Simply talking first (physical) impressions here.
Beyond that, If I have a few moments to look at a woman (television offers a great opportunity for this) what I notice starts at the top of her head and works down from there.
I have to admit that I have a “thing” for big hair. The 80’s were really visually satisfying for me in this regard! I have never been a fan of short hair on women. I can understand the wash and wear appeal but I don’t find it sexy. As far as color, dark or Auburn hair are my personal favorites. Two of the women that I had long term relationship with had short hair, my current wife has long hair. I have seen women that I would consider overweight for my liking, but if they have nice hair and eyes…I don’t notice their physical size.
A woman can really take my breath away with her eyes. I am enthralled with long eyelashes and dark eyeliner. I have a “thing” for brown eyes and when the woman has blonde hair and brown eyes, she might catch me taking an extra moments gazing at her.
A woman’s mouth is not at the top of my list of facial features that catch my eye but at times I will see a woman with my idea of a “perfect” mouth and this will warrant a second glance from me. That being said, the shape of a woman’s mouth does not “concern” me as much as her hair or eyes might. One aspect of the mouth that does hold a lot of appeal is the woman’s smile…if she smiles a lot it makes her attractive.
Her hip to waist ratio
I really like when a woman has a decent hip to waist ratio. Super models look like sticks to me…moreover look like young boys rather than women. I like the curve between the waist and hips…if she has a “few” extra pounds…all the better.
This is the one area where I can admit to being shallow. I have my own idea of what a really nice bum should look like, not too flat and not too prominent. The size and shape of a woman’s butt is not a deal-breaker BUT it can be an issue. What I have found is that if my lady’s bum is not “really nice” I tend to be looking at other women’s niceties.
Fashion is like the icing on the cake…and if it is done right can be so sweet as to mask over any other imperfections. That is to say that I have seen women dressed a certain way that I just stopped and stared. If I was to really judge them I would see that they had no other attributes that I find appealing other than their clothes and the way that they wore them…so fashion can make a big impression.
I would have to say that I am lucky this time around in that I find my wife sexy. My first two LTR were with “friends” that turned into a relationship. I didn’t find these partners to be overly sexy so in all honesty I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at other women. I will still look if an attractive woman passes by or via a television show…but in general I am happy just to admire my wife.