Off-the-wall search terms in the past 30 days

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Makes me wonder…
I occasionally will check out the various search terms used that have ultimately led someone to my blog. Many are straight forward while others are well…different to say the least. To make things a bit more interesting I like to think of what they might have been thinking when they typed those words…

1. facebook photos white socks fetish
Ok this one I get. I have a white sock fetish. Specifically a white ankle sock fetish…as long as they are being worn…by a female. Previously worn white socks that are now residing in the laundry hamper are NOT part of my fetish. So I assume that this person is thinking along the same lines as I am…he wants to see them being worn…and he hopes that someone on facebook will have been thoughtful enough to wear white socks in their profile picture. I would assume they would then try and form some sort of connection with the wearer…maybe send off a form letter or something…”Hello, I noticed that you were wearing white socks in your profile picture…and thought we might have something in common….”

2. romantic group sex
Hmmm. I thought romantic misogynist was an interesting play on words…but romantic group sex? That one sounds a bit odd…I wonder if the searcher was looking for romantic music? I know that Barry White gets high points for music to make love by…but for a whole group…YMCA maybe? It could also be they were looking for something to express romance…like rose petals on the bed. Maybe rose scented KY or a dozen donuts…with the little red sugar hearts on top…for the group?

3. suck cock piercing
The only thing that came to mind with this one…was some poor girl (or guy) has just met a new flame and the inevitable blow-job is looming on the horizon. Although they may have not yet seen the package, with the prevalence of metal sticking out of new guy’s face, there is a good chance that the nipples and penis are pierced as well. Maybe the person that will be giving the blowjob has not yet had to deal with a penis with a shark wishbone shaped pin running through…and horizontal to the shaft…and was hoping there might be guidelines on Google?

4. misogynistic men and their profile
Ok…so sometimes they DO make sense

5. romantically desirable porn
Romantically desirable to her…or him? It DOES make a difference you know….

6. what kind of woman does a misogynist find attractive
Umm, might want to do a search on misogyny to start…and no the “gyny” part after miso has nothing to do with “gyno” as in gynecology….so really have no idea what you were thinking….

7. how to express yourself sucking cock
Honestly…this person gets bonus points for trying. Personally I don’t give a damn how she expresses herself as long as she sucks. She can recite poetry, sing or dance…as long as it doesn’t take away from MY pleasure….

8. my wife is a whore with testosterone
Ok, did you know she was a whore when you married her? Do you still pay for sex…or is the marriage certificate like a yearly pass? Testosterone…you mean like the male hormone? Is it something that is inherent in her…like estrogen….or did YOU put it there? Maybe someone else did…..yuck.

1 comments on “Off-the-wall search terms in the past 30 days”

  1. Someone found my blog with the phrase “anal on the first date ladylike”. That really got me thinking… About things like how to have “ladylike” anal sex and whether or not anal sex was different from any other kind of sex on the first date and how to do it in a ladylike manner.

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