My first wife and I were driving downtown many years ago. I stopped at a convenience store to buy some cigarettes. When I came back to the car, the guy parked in front of me was just getting into his car (a convertible) with a bouquet of flowers. My wife remarked, “Look, he bought flowers for HIS wife, I don’t remember the last time you bought me flowers!” I responded, “I DO…right around the last time you gave me a blowjob!”
The truth hurts.
The next thing I would like to say here, to set the tone, is that I have learned a lot about relationships since then. I communicate far better with my current wife than I did with my first one, and as part of that communication I share with her what I think and how I feel…as opposed to always saying the “right” things.
The one statement I made to my current wife, back when we were dating and once and a while to this day is that if a couple remains boyfriend and girlfriend, that is to say, keeps that mindset, I feel that they have a better chance of having a happy marriage.
I bought my current wife lots of flowers when we were dating…and not so much today. The reason is not the same as with the first wife…it is a shift in financial responsibilities. When we were dating, “my” money was just that…mine to do with what I pleased. It pleased me to buy her flowers…it made her happy…and that made ME happy. Now we have far more mutual responsibilities and different priorities on which to spend our money. I could spend $40 on a bouquet of flowers or spend $40 on two potted flowers that will last all season….so WE choose the latter.
I still buy her flowers from time to time; just like a boyfriend would….I don’t want her getting any wrong ideas!