“Oh….um (blank)…um…oh no” You were fantastic!

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You pick someone up in the bar at last call. You are half-baked and you stumble back to your place.  In the throes of passion you call out “Oh….um (blank)…um…oh no”  You have no idea what his name is.  Here you are, flat on your back sharing your goodies with a literally nameless stranger.  What do you do? In many cases this will suffice, better off that you don’t get too personal with this guy.  Sure you can fuck him (that’s not too personal) but if you know his name it makes it all too romantic doesn’t it?  If you can’t leave it alone…try and guess his name.

Go with Michael or Elizabeth! According to statistics, those have been the most popular names for people in their mid-thirties! If you were born in 1964 like I was the most popular names were David or Lisa (Ever wonder why they published that?) Actually, darling or sweetie is a better substitute. Do not use the word baby or honey — that reminds most of us of our parents or grandparents. You could always avoid using a name all together I mean how much talking did you really do last night?  Try to find an ID — most people keep their driver’s license or student ID (as if you would be that lucky) close to them at all time. Along with seeing their cheesy ID picture, you’ll know their name, which allows you to do all the future Facebook stalking you want.

This really happened to me once.  I met a woman and spent the night with her.  In the morning she said she wanted to have a shower and then have sex again, AND she wanted me to say her name over and over while we were doing it.  Sounded simple enough. albeit strange (she must have liked hearing her name) but I had no idea what her name was.  NO idea.  When she went in the shower I went through her purse looking for a driver’s licence but she had no documentation in her bag.  I ran to her car and pulled out the insurance slip.  Sure enough, her name was there, along with her husbands.  Their names were (no joke) Jean and Carol.  Fortunately for me I then remembered someone calling her “Jeannie” the night before so I didn’t have to guess any further.  I just had to decide whether Jean or Jeannie was the best one to cry out to get her going.  Don’t remember which I chose but I do remember she was happy.
I would have to say that was one of my most embarrassing situations.

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