I’m hungry…don’t you think?


“ Women don’t think logically”  I find myself saying that more often than I feel I should.
The truth is, I have met many women that think and act logically…the difference in the thought process only becomes to light when I am in a relationship with a woman.

The problem is not that women lack logic, it is that there is a fundamental difference in the way men and women think. The bottom line is that both men and women think with logic but women also “think” with emotion. This is why a male gets so frustrated with a females sometimes “irrational” behaviour. She adds “feeling” into the equation whereas he tends to act based on what he sees as the “facts”.  Could it be that in a relationship there is typically more emotion involved so this disparity in thought becomes more apparent?  I have been accused of not listening when the truth is more that I don’t understand what is being said or “what I am supposed to understand or hear out of what has been presented to me.”

My wife rarely says directly what she wants. Instead, she will use reverse psychology by asking me  a series of questions until she gets the desired answer. If she does not get the desired answer she will give me ‘the cold shoulder treatment’. She thinks this will alert the me that something is wrong and I will do what she wants…without actually having to tell me. I do notice the emotional response, the showing of her displeasure that I cannot “guess” what she wants…but I still don’t “get” what she wants…until she tells me.
Meanwhile I am left dazed and confused as to what happened, after which an argument is usually required to get to the bottom of the problem. The whole situation could have been avoided if she had stated directly what she wanted in the first place.

When asked why they do this, most women will either answer that they don’t realize they’re doing this or they simply don’t know why. Many an argument could be avoided if what came out of a woman’s mouth was the same as the thought that was processed in her brain.  There seems to be some conversion that takes place that scrambles the thought before it reaches his ear.

Take for example my wife and I are driving along a road. My wife is hungry so she says to me ‘would you like to get something to eat?’ I reply “no thanks I’m not hungry at the moment”  and I keep driving. She then starts showing her displeasure  because she didn’t get the answer she was looking for. If she had said “I’m hungry, pull in at the next restaurant so I can get some food”  I would have done just that without question.
This all stems back to the fact that a female thinks with her emotions as well.  I assume that if two women were driving together and the same scenario was played out the driver would say “no thanks BUT do you want me to stop for you”?  ( I tend to do this now, I try and think like my wife when these scenarios come up.  I will say, “I am not hungry but if you are I would be happy to stop.” It works 90% of the time)

This is why a male typically cannot understand a female’s “way” of thinking. Males cannot read between the lines where as women seem to be able to. They are not psychic or clairvoyant and they need everything spelled out to them in black and white. Women are not typically psychic or clairvoyant but they do have a heightened level of intuition.
Males often also complain that females are moody, have mood swings and show irrational or erratic behaviour. This is especially apparent in times of stress, emergencies or significant events where body chemicals and emotions are highly stimulated.

To make things more difficult, a  woman’s behaviour is affected by her emotions and her emotions are affected by her body chemistry and her body chemistry is in a state of flux from one month to the next. It can only be expected that a female may exhibit erratic behaviour that is a mystery to a man whose body does not go through a constant monthly cycle of change.

So in short, guys need to try to interpret better what a woman is saying, as it may not be exactly what she means. Women need to try better to say exactly what they mean, if they want their guy to do what they want, without playing head games with them. Whether this is actually possible (as it goes against our genetic programming) is another case entirely.

4 comments on “I’m hungry…don’t you think?”

  1. What’s funny to me is that my husband is the one who doesn’t come out and say what he’s feeling. I say it but with plenty of hand flapping and eye rolling. But look at it this way, if men and women communicated the same way,what on earth would we argue about?

  2. Too funny. To me her saying “would you like to get something to eat?” is basically the same as saying “I am hungry” but doing it in a polite way. So I think another female would likely respond “sure we can stop and get something” and then just not order much or anything if she wasn’t hungry. Women are socialized to be much more “polite” in their conversation than men, or at least that’s what we think, you guys just see it as indirect. That’s why we always think you mean something else than what you actually say, because we are used to and understand a more indirect form of communication.

  3. lol TRM! This is exactly how i used to be and at times still am. Which by the way was how i was trained to think and speak by my mother. Sadly for most of us, that bad communication style is passed on from generation to generation. The one phrase, from my Husband, i continually replay in my head is: “Be clear. If you want something ask for it, like an adult.” And for the most part that works 🙂

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