Something happened today, actually my wife said something today that bothered me. She said, “I’m tired…I’m tired of my life” I asked her, “Why” to which she replied, “I just am”.
She wasn’t tired of her life when we went out for dinner last night.
She didn’t seem tired of her life sporting her Canada Goose coat and Louis Vuitton bag that I bought her for Christmas as we walked the mall last night.
She wasn’t tired of her life when I washed the kids dishes when we came home last night.
She wasn’t tired of her life when I rubbed her legs before she went to sleep.
She wasn’t tired of her life when I turned off the TV early so she could sleep.
She wasn’t tired of her life this morning when I snuck out and started the car so it would be warm.
We have no real problems regarding parenting the children, have no money or intimacy issues. We had no arguments, no issues that were apparent…but out of the blue, “She’s tired of her life”.
This is not the first time that she has said something like this, she has made the comment before, “I wish I could just go home” (meaning back to her homeland) “and get away from everyone” Subsequent conversation suggested she meant alone…no kids…no husband. I would say that she will make a comment like this twice a year…and I never know how to respond or if I should at all.
I’m not sure where these “outbursts” come from. I’m not sure if is hormonal, not sure if it is for attention, not sure if she is vocalizing raw thought but her choice of words is unnerving to me.
The problem with me is…I am tired of trying to decipher what women mean when they say or do something like this.
Part of me wants to comfort her…seems to me like something is bothering her…yet when I have tried to in the past, it is typically met with more “seemingly senseless outbursts” which tend to irritate me further.
The other part of me wants to say something equally senseless (how do YOU like it?) and ask her if she would like me to buy her a one way ticket.
What I do in reality is nothing…I listen…I don’t respond…I don’t get drawn in…and typically I won’t hear anything like this for another 6 months.
The problem is the effects on me are cumulative. I am afraid one day I might come to the conclusion based on all of the hints she provided…that she in fact doesn’t have what I would consider commitment to “us” and really means what she says in these cases.
If the woman who you are with “Is tired of her life” and “wishes she could leave and never come back” then why shouldn’t I make alternate plans myself? Sitting around waiting to be broadsided is what I typically did in the past…and I don’t wish to repeat it.
All in all it comes across to me as a slap in the face…whether that was her intention or not and in the process she chips away at my overall trust in her…at this rate it would take a LONG time before I would make any rash decisions…but once again I am shaking my head wondering why this was necessary in the first place?
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world.”