I was speaking with a friend of mine last night, a friend that happens to have some background in psychology. He told me that he felt what my wife is doing via her “outbursts” DOES in fact have something to do with me. He went on to state that one would not see this if a couple were only casually dating, and would never see it from a female friend or acquaintance…simply because it would not be necessary.
In his opinion what my wife is doing, may be a form of “testing” me. Testing my level of commitment and testing my empathy. It is based on some level of insecurity within her and according to him is a fairly common female trait.
As far as how I handle this:
1. Ask what might be wrong (shows that I care)
2. When I don’t get a solid answer and then ignore her (shows that I lack empathy in the long run)
He also suggested that my lack of empathy might also come across as a lack of commitment, which is what she is actually testing for…
So I am not empathetic towards issues that are to me non-existent or at best don’t make any sense to me. Hmmm.
My friend went on to tell me that my reaction to her testing, asking once and then ignoring it, might make her feel that I was somehow weak, showing my own insecurities…and that would ultimately be a turn-off to her.
So let me get this straight, SHE has some level of insecurity….so she tests ME to see if she can evoke some sort of response from ME…that will in turn allow HER to determine if I am strong enough to put up with not only HER…but HER unorthodox tests?
I will be very honest. I HATE stuff like this. Anyways…moving right along. As I said in my last post, these issues come up randomly and few and far between. The next time and next week (out-of-the-blue) I will continue to talk to her as to why she says these things….and if that doesn’t work, I will pretend she didn’t even say the words.
Test result: F+