By Dear Hot Girl in the Telus Store,
It has been a while since I last saw you and still can’t get you out of my mind. Over time I find the images of you that I had saved in my mind are fading…but it has been two weeks. A woman of lesser beauty would be completely erased from my memory in mere days, but then I don’t typically stare at women with the same intensity…or for as long as with you.
You probably don’t remember me but I saw you the first time before Christmas. I was the guy, probably around the same age as your father, that came into your store with a woman…actually my wife…but you don’t need so much detail I’m sure. I’m not sure of the exact date…but think it was December 20th at around 13 minutes after 7…in the evening…but don’t hold me to it.
We were inquiring about purchasing a roaming package so that Telus wouldn’t ding us for $1.75 per minute when we went to Chicago. You made the comment that with the money I saved by buying the package I would have money to go out for a nice dinner. I apologize for just standing there with a blank look on my face for a moment but was just wondering where we might go…and how I might be able to persuade my wife to go to Chicago alone. Just for a moment….honestly.
Just the way that you said, “60 minutes for $40” in your sultry voice…really got me. The way that you looked me right in the eyes when you told me my card had been declined. The way that your skin took on an almost après sex glow after the 4th transaction failed. The way that you flipped your hair and sighed as you finally handed me the receipt. You looked really hot and bothered by this point…and so was I.
After we bought the package…we proceeded to leave the store. If you don’t remember me yet…I was the guy that took out the entire Samsung display on the way out. I tried to sneak one last glimpse of you while my wife was distracted by the Pandora store across the aisle. You rushed over to see if I was ok (actually to pick up all the phones to see if would be billed for damage) but I like to think we shared a moment. You looking up at me with your big beautiful eyes…me looking at your butt every time you picked up another phone…and my wife looking at me looking at you. Time to go!
The next time I saw you, you greeted us at the entrance. I told you that we were looking to replace my wife’s phone and you immediately directed us to some old guy with “the technical expertise to assist us better” Oh I loved the way you said that…but…that wasn’t my intention. If I had known you were going to do that…I would have gone to Rogers.
It actually turned out ok. As Joe or whatever his name was rambling on about the new phone to my wife it left me with a full half hour to fully undress you with my eyes…I mean appreciate your beauty.
I don’t know if that is what you normally do when bored but leaning against a display case while continuously banging your crotch against the glass…was driving me crazy. I especially liked it when you would stick your butt out every minute of so…like you were stretching your legs and then bending over to ensure that your yoga pant legs were in fact still secure in your black leather boots. Thank you!
The only problem I had with you was after we had been in the store for 20 minutes you went to the back to get something for a customer. On the way back as you passed me, you said hello…again. You greeted my wife and I at the front and now said hello again…Did you have a moment of weakness? My wife immediately picked up on it…and now she’s on to us. She came over and asked me if I knew you..? I said I had never seen you before.
Because of your faux pa I will likely never see you again. My wife has decided that her I5 training course might be better handled at the Telus in the other mall, “because it is closer”. I rebutted and stated that the other mall is in fact 3 miles further away…to which she rebutted “at least you won’t be straining your eyes for a half hour staring at that hot girl you were so enthralled with.”
Thank you for the half hour of pleasure and leaving me with an empty feeling…not quite the fantasy scenario I had imagined but I guess it will have to suffice.
Sincerely,
The Old Married Guy That Thinks You Are Hot
theromanticmisogynist.com 