There was something that happened every so often in my online “relationships” that went beyond common sense. I would meet someone and there was an inexplicable attraction that went above and beyond what we shared at face value. The truth is that in my entire time seeking social connections online, THAT type of connection is what I sought. Difficult to describe in words and far more elusive to find…the “spiritual” connection.
At face value: I have never actually met this individual. I cannot experience them with any of the 5 senses. All that I have seen of them is their words on a digital palette.
I may never meet this individual. While it is possible that she is the girl next door, it is equally possible and more likely that she lives on the other side of the world. Beyond face value a connection is formed that makes no logical sense to me: I can actually miss this person when we are not talking.
There is typically something about the scenario that I would normally walk away from, yet this issue or issues become a trigger at times and build a stronger bond.
Regardless of what transpired in conversation, how much time has passed since we last spoke…I still think of them, I still miss “what we had” and am still as open and receptive to further conversation as I ever was.
This has happened rarely. In my entire time online (ten years) I have met only 3 persons where this “feeling” that for some reason I was “meant” to be speaking with this individual has come across me. Typically this person will not match the person I envision in my search. Their looks, age, social or marital status have no bearing on my wishing to converse with and learn from them. I have never ended up meeting any of these women.
One decided to move offline and get married, she lived thousands of miles away. One lived a couple of hours from me, was the most creative writer I have ever met but over time wanted to change the status of our online friendship into something more “real”. I refused and she moved on.
The last one I think I just blew it with. I think that I sent her far too many mixed signals and she got tired of the confusion. The truth was I really liked the person I was speaking with but didn’t want to taint our friendship by making it anything more than what we had. I was happy with what we had, (that is a rarity) and didn’t want to find out we couldn’t make it work in “real” life and have to say good-bye. In the long run we (she) did say goodbye regardless and to this day I still think of her.