Racist Post Etiquette

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My wife isn’t from around here.  She is a from another country.  She’s foreign.  People from her country are often the brunt of jokes and cruel racist rants on sites like Craigslist.  I understand that sometimes we look at someone and feel the need to rant about something about them that irks us.  I’m not perfect, I feel the same way from time to time…and yes I generalize…I do.  The point of this post however to let those that post their racist thoughts and feelings…to do it with some class…some structure….so that you don’t become the subject of rants yourself…
“Did you hear the one about the racist poster?”

1. Preface your post by saying “this is just something I noticed in all Jews/Hispanics/Blacks/Asians”. I mean, if it’s just an observation, it can’t be racist.

2. Preface your post by saying how you have plenty of Jewish/Hispanic/Black/Asian friends, but you need to let this off your chest.

3. Before making a blatantly racist statement, CLEARLY state that you are not a racist. This absolves you.

4. Make sure you insult that particular race’s women. Do they have big butts? Hooked noses? Greasy hair? Let them know! After all, it’s just something you noticed.

5. ALWAYS quote statistics. Did the Vatican research board determine that 98.7% of all homosexuals are condemned to hell for all eternity? Cite it. Did a Klan survey find that Jews are 78% more likely to be cheap and smelly? Copy and paste baby!

6. Don’t forget to insult that race’s homeland, even if most of them have never been there. Latin America/the Middle East/Asia/Africa sure does suck, and its YOUR responsibility to let people know anonymously through the internet.

7. Be sure to describe, in detail, an incident you saw/heard about/made up in which a member of an ethnic group lived up to their stereotype. Every academic thesis needs field research before it gets published.

8. USE CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS TO MAKE IT SEEM AS THOUGH YOU’RE SCREAMING!!!!!

9. Anyone who disagrees with you is obviously a limp-wristed tree-hugging liberal, and their opinion is automatically discounted.

**IMPORTANT** Under no circumstances should you check your spelling or grammar.

 

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