If you loved me you would…

He wants sex…she doesn’t…

I remember when I was a teenager a female friend told me that she had sex with her boyfriend the night before.  She said she felt obligated because he told her he might die if he didn’t have an orgasm and that if she loved him she would do it.  Turns out part of that was true.

You will find if you browse through this blog that many of the posts concern sex and sexuality and the reason is simple…I am very interested in how the sexes view sexuality… their own and their partners.

I have had both good and bad experiences when it came to sex in a relationship. I am someone who appreciates fact over opinion I am always looking for the scientific reasons behind a person’s actions…or lack thereof.

My first wife who was by her own words a feminist was a woman that would withhold sex on a regular basis to show me her displeasure with something that I had done…thought…seen…heard.  Quite honestly the lack of sex is the only thing I can remember about the fifteen years we spent together.

This occurrence is not unique to my first wife mind you…ask almost any married man the last time he had sex and he will say months, longer and some don’t even remember.

The real problem with this is that women most likely have no clue as to how damaging this refusal of sex is to the man and to their relationship in general.

Women do not typically understand that to a man, sex is love.  A woman shows her love for the man by her willingness to give her body to him.  That is the way a man thinks (processes information) and there is nothing that feminism can do to change this.

On the other hand if you asked a woman if she knew her husband loves her because of his willingness to give his body to her…she would most likely laugh.  Women don’t think this way…men do.  There is nothing…including feminism that will change this.

Men who are denied sex from their wife will typically go through stages:

1. Hurt
2. Sad
3. Angry
4. Quiet

Men will be quiet because they do not trust talking to their wife about the situation.  Men feel embarrassed, emasculated even by feeling that they are reduced to begging for sex.

When I spoke with a few women about this the response was predictable in that they stated that it was ridiculous that men felt love through getting sex.  They were adamant that there other ways that a wife could show her husband that he was loved.

The real problem here is women thinking that because the sexes are equal, they should be equal in thought and the thoughts that women think is the way, the only way.  Women have little regard for what men really think and seemingly have no interest in trying to understand.

One woman told me that she didn’t feel that she should be obliged to have sex with her husband if she was not in the mood.  I asked her if she would be ok if her husband didn’t go to work because he was not in the mood.  She did not see the inconsistencies in her attitude.

Another said that having sex when she wasn’t in the mood was mechanical and if sex was not mutually desired at that point in time it should not be engaged in.  I think women could find more of the romantic-sex they desire if they did more to oblige their husband’s desires…even the non-romantic type.

Women today do not seem to really understand that they are, in a sense, capable of changing their husband’s conduct by the way they act themselves. I think that women seem to think that their role in the relationship is to sort of do nothing and wait for the man to serve them.