Shortly after I got married my wife showed me a small crack and suggested I learn how to use my caulk to fill it. She went on to say that if I didn’t feel comfortable about it we might have to bring in a caulk expert. I have to admit that I had not had
Look, I’m a good looking guy, that’s fine. But why not just ask me out instead of playing all these silly games? All day long, I’m running into women of all sorts who just STARE at me shamelessly, through their EPV (extra peripheral vision). You think I don’t notice, but trust me, it’s obvious. The
All the good ones are taken. If the person isn’t taken, there’s a good reason. The nicer someone is, the farther away they are from you. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. The best things in the world are free and worth every penny
Q: Why are men such jerks? A: It’s a Testosterone thing. Much similar to your P.M.S. thing, we men suffer from Testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average lifespan of a male is typically 10 years shorter? And it’s not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure! Hormones modify behavior.
Dear Holly, Look, I’ll come straight to the point. I’m sorry I didn’t know where the clitoris was. I was a horrible wreck of dry humping, fingering teen lust who pinned you to couches and carpets and danced all around your deserving button of love without so much as grazing it, without even inquiring as
Makes me wonder… I occasionally will check out the various search terms used that have ultimately led someone to my blog. Many are straight forward while others are well…different to say the least. To make things a bit more interesting I like to think of what they might have been thinking when they typed those
Written as a profile for a dating site a number of years ago: Bitter, unsuccessful middle-aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, dreary loneliness looking for like-minded, needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with my life story, boring sex and Anne Murray albums… ’till death do us part. I love eating peanut butter and
Dear Connie, I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to
Marrying or not marrying to me is a question similar to when it comes to a car, should you lease or buy? If there was the opportunity to make a clean break when the “time was right” and the two of you just shake hands and drive off into the sunset in separate U-Haul vans…I
Gorgeous, intelligent and wealthy yet still unhappily married man looking for love. I guess it happens to all of us at some point in our life, the thrill, the excitement, the romance in our relationship wanes. We find ourselves left with only the countless billions we amassed running a highly successful call-girl service. What is
theromanticmisogynist.com 