Category: Online dating

A dating site fantasy – His

You’ve been horny all day and just can’t ignore it anymore. You post an ad at 10:00 p.m. on Plentyoffish saying simply “Fuck Me.” Immediately, you receive an email with nude pics from a hot babe who could be Pamela Anderson’s long lost twin. The email says she is wet and ready for you right

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Good thing men don’t actually read dating site profiles

If your gut has ever told you that an online dating site profile you’ve just read was full of shit… you were most likely right. Women (and men) fudge their profiles big time, but you can stay one step ahead of them by knowing the truth behind what their profiles say. “Occasional smoker” If she could

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13 Reasons not to choose me as your secret lover

This particular profile got me removed from Plentyoffish for being too obscene! What does Markus think that everyone on the site is 12 years old? 1) I’m 5’10” in height. Most women on dating sites seem to desire a “tall” man. Apparently it’s very erotic to use a step ladder when kissing your man. 2) I’m of

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Old dog chasing tail

Written as a profile for a dating site a number of years ago: Bitter, unsuccessful middle-aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, dreary loneliness looking for like-minded, needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with my life story, boring sex and Anne Murray albums… ’till death do us part. I love eating peanut butter and

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